Romantic, Not Hopeless

They call me sappy now. It used to be chessy, mushy, or plain corny. The last comment came from my friend Dj, who was my schoolmate in Davao 15 years ago who happens to be working in the same company with me.

Hs comment came after I pointed out that maybe the reason he' still single after all these years is that he still hasnt found that special person that he would chose to spend the rest of his life. Hence, I'm sappy.

Another friend said I'm a hopeless romantic. What does that mean, anyway? Three persons come to mind: Don Juan de Marco, Cassanova, and of late, Mr.Darcy ( but him, I haven't met personally). Then again I don't think myself in any way comparable to the three. So out comes my dear friend the always knowledgeable Ms. Webster and here's what she's got to say,

"romantic is an adjective. of or characteristic of romance. given to thoughts or feelings of romance. expressive of or conducive to love. imaginative but impractical."

Hmmm. that last description suits me just fine. But what of romance?

"romance is a noun. It means a love affair, a romantic involvement. Or a mysterious or fascinating quality or affair, like something adventurous. Also it can refer to a medieval narrative telling of the adventures of chivalric heroes. Or a story or film dealing with a love affair."

Oh that. I knew that. You mean chick flicks, dont you? But does romanticism always have to deal with love and emotion?

"Romanticism is an artistic and intellectual movement originating in Europe in the late 18th century and marked by emphasis on emotions & imajination, departure from classical forms and rebellion againts social conventions."

Wow. at least you can be romantic and intellectual at the same time.

In chess my favorite opening is the King's gambit, considered to be the most romantic chess opening of all time. It was popular centuries ago. Giving up the king's bishop pawn right at second move, the player throws caution to the wind and makes his intention known that he will raise an all- out attack against the opposing king, but not without risk to himself.

The opening and positions that result because of this move have been studied and analyzed exhaustively that nowadays very few players ever play it at top level competition. With correct play the defending king should be able to hold on to the pawn or exchange it for something that will turn the game to his advantage.

I think the king's gambit is considered romantic because it is a reminder of a bygone era, when players were willing to sacrifice evrything to bring the game to a quick and beautiful end. The attacking king is willing to give up a pawn, a knight or more in his attack. There's a big chance that the attack will not be successful and he will end up with so much material disadvantage that me will lose in the end, but he dosnt take heed. A gambiteer will have none of that defensive playing, waiting for the opponent to commit a mistake and accumulating small advantages. None of that careful tip-toeing that makes a chess match boring.

I guess i approach women the same way I play the king's gambit. I let my intentions show early on. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so to speak. And twice in my life that lead to beautiful relationships that left a deep and indelible mark on me. A girl and a young woman that will forever stay in my heart.

Many times too, it lead to heartaches and disappointment, of missed chances and unfathomable what-ifs. Thinking, did I rush too quickly? Could I have done differently and fared better? Knowing that if given that chance again I'll do the same. I cant help following the impulses of my heart.

So am I a hopeless romantic? Romantic, I'd say, but not hopeless. What's wrong with believing in fate, chivalry, and undying love? What's wrong with believing in magic when to people meet each other for the first time and giving love a chance to blossom? I think what's hopeless is hoping to find true love without taking any risk for yourself. Because loving means giving a part of yourself and when you do that there's always a chance that you'd get hurt.

As for me, win or lose, I'll have no regrets. They say its better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all.