Remembering God

When I first started this blog, I thought it will be about how fleeting life in this world is. Hence the title "in the blink of an eye." The complete quote will be something like "Life in this world is a blink of an eye between two eternities."

Simply said, the universe existed indefinite number of years before I was born, possibly it will exist an equal number of years after I die.

My father (may God rest his soul) used to rebuke me over dinner, during those years when I was younger and didnt fulfill my duties as a Moslem, namely praying five times daily. He would say that when my soul was still in heaven and before it was sent to this world, I made a vow to God that I will live my life in this world in utter obedience and servitude to Him. And that when I grew up, I have forgotten.

Of course I have forgotten, I didnt remember making that promise at all, but deep in my heart I believe that he was telling the truth.

He would conclude his lecture, over dinner, that if I dont wish to worship God, then I should not partake of the food that God has created and that I should create my own food instead. In fact, he said, I should not breathe the air that God created, or drink the water, or even live in this planet. I should go, he said, create a world of my own and be my own Lord.

How do you defend yourself against such an argument? My dad, the lawyer, would rest his case, confident -or maybe hopeful- that he has driven his point solidly in his young son's mind.

Now that I am 31 I am getting scared. I am not scared of dying. I have resolved a long time ago that we can die anytime and I remind myself that everyday. What scares me is that I might have lived half of my life already and I have nothing to show for it.

My father died when he was about 65 years of age. (I say "about" because his people didnt have birth certificates. It was common to hear people say "Your brother was born before the great earthquake," or "When your father was born I was already this tall.") Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was reported to have said that most of his people will live to be around 60. That those who will live beyond that would be few. He himself passed away when he was 64.

Of the 2o years or so that I am accountable, I may have lived only 2 years as religiously as I can. The rest I have lived in sin. I say 20 years because children below 10 or so, before they are old enough to know between right or wrong or make their own decisions for themselves, are not accountable. Some say those that die as babies or in childhood are lucky, they will go straight to heaven. I believe this to be true.

Still, as long as I am still alive there's that possibility that I might repent completely, cast aside these worldly things, and live my life as I promised God eons ago. God is the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious. And He forgives everyone who asks forgiveness sincerely.

God misguides and guides whoever He wills. I can only hope and pray that before I die I will be guided to the Straight Way, the way of those who God is pleased with, and not the way of those who are lost and have earned the wrath of God.