Sunday, March 4, 2012
ONe Rainy Evening
Sometimes when it rains like this, and i have spent a long time browsing the internet that i forget the time of the day, i lost myself in the moment. The sound that the falling rain makes on the rooftops sound the same when im at home in Cotabato City. I almost imagine that if i turn around i will see the huge window in our house that opens to the street, and I'll see people either braving the rain under their umbrellas or riding "traysikad" with white strips of plastic covering the passenger's seat flapping in the wind as they passed by. I will see familiar faces of neighbors and friends i grew up, maybe engage in small talk as they stop and shelter themselves in front of our house and wait for the rain to stop. Then i remember im not home. I'm miles and miles away. And if i turned around i will see nothing but a mirror on the wall and a door that opens to a narrow hall of tiny rooms, the exit of our boarding house and into the concrete jungle that is Cebu.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The first time i attempted long distance running, i was 6 years old. I had no training, no shoes, and no choice. I was left alone at the beach, around 10miles outside Cotabato City.
Its hard to understand how i could have been left at the beach. We brought two vehicles that day. My dad, mom, me and sisters rode on the first vehicle. My elder brother, cousins, relatives and neighbors ( i think!) rode on the 2nd. it was a long way to the beach. it took more than an hour from the highway to a desolate beach called Kusiong. Back in those days the long and dusty road to the beach wasn’t considered safe. There are threats of bandits and if your car broke down you might have to wait a very long time before any vehicle passed you by. Only on New Year's day did Cotabatenos troop to the beach in huge numbers. It was like a tradition for us.
That afternoon, shortly before we were supposed to leave, i was looking for my change of clothes in the first vehicle. i was told they were in the second vehicle, so i went to get them. My parents then left after that, probably thinking i would go with my cousins in the 2nd vehicle.
Those left behind, seeing i wasn’t there, thought I went home with my parents. So they also left without me. Everybody was busy packing things up that no one saw me slip away. No one came looking for me, or if someone did, couldn’t find me. And there were no celphones back then, no way to call my parents. Only when they all got home that they realized i was missing.
i was in one of the makeshift "changing rooms" at the beach. I probably didnt have to wait in line just to be able to use one of the rooms, i was 6 years old. But that was what i saw the grown-ups were doing, so i thought i should do the same.
when i went back to the place where we camped, everyone was gone. I was in disbelief at first, thinking maybe they just went further ahead and were waiting there for me. So i went to the general direction where we have come from when going to the beach. It didnt take me long to realize that they really were all gone home, leaving me behind. And just like that, i started running.
Looking back like that, i realize now, i was a gutsy little child. I remember the look of the wide dirt road in front of me and I knew that it took us an awfully long time to get there but i wasnt worried about the distance. It was beyond my capacity to understand that i had no hope of getting home that way. All i knew, is that i wanted to go home and running was the fastest (the only) way to get there. My only worry was not getting home before dark. The idea of being out there at night, on the road with all the trees and the forest and all the scary things in them- away from home, away from anyone i knew- that really scared me. I remember crying, but i ran on while i cried.
scared as i was, it must have been more terrifying for my parents. my mom would have been in tears, but my dad? i dont remember my father of being scared of anything, ever. that was the kind of man he was, his face showed only either happiness and laughter or anger and disapproval. but at that time, he must have been scared- what parent wouldnt be? i think it was my uncle who said my dad drove that jeep back to the beach so fast it almost flew.
it must have been terrible for my dad. i cant imagine how heavy it must have felt when he didnt find me, driving home and thinking of ways how to tell my mom. it was night when he got home. he must have been surprised and overjoyed to find me there. i actually arrived home not long after he left.
i don’t remember how far i ran, probably not much. a family going home from the beach stopped by to pick me up. the sight of a very small boy running on the middle of a road would have been hard to miss. They asked who i was, where i lived, etc.. and i answered them straight forwardly. and i knew how to give directions."just drive straight to downtown, ill tell you when to turn right!" (the Petron gas station on the corner of our street is easy to find, it’s the only gas station on the side of the road) they would remark to my mom how quick i was in answering all their questions and how i seemed comfortable in the company of strangers. i was a talkative child even back then. almost 30 years later, i haven’t changed much. i still talk much, and i still talk to strangers. =)
looking back, i cant help but think...it could have easily gone bad for me. i guess i was just very lucky.
Its hard to understand how i could have been left at the beach. We brought two vehicles that day. My dad, mom, me and sisters rode on the first vehicle. My elder brother, cousins, relatives and neighbors ( i think!) rode on the 2nd. it was a long way to the beach. it took more than an hour from the highway to a desolate beach called Kusiong. Back in those days the long and dusty road to the beach wasn’t considered safe. There are threats of bandits and if your car broke down you might have to wait a very long time before any vehicle passed you by. Only on New Year's day did Cotabatenos troop to the beach in huge numbers. It was like a tradition for us.
That afternoon, shortly before we were supposed to leave, i was looking for my change of clothes in the first vehicle. i was told they were in the second vehicle, so i went to get them. My parents then left after that, probably thinking i would go with my cousins in the 2nd vehicle.
Those left behind, seeing i wasn’t there, thought I went home with my parents. So they also left without me. Everybody was busy packing things up that no one saw me slip away. No one came looking for me, or if someone did, couldn’t find me. And there were no celphones back then, no way to call my parents. Only when they all got home that they realized i was missing.
i was in one of the makeshift "changing rooms" at the beach. I probably didnt have to wait in line just to be able to use one of the rooms, i was 6 years old. But that was what i saw the grown-ups were doing, so i thought i should do the same.
when i went back to the place where we camped, everyone was gone. I was in disbelief at first, thinking maybe they just went further ahead and were waiting there for me. So i went to the general direction where we have come from when going to the beach. It didnt take me long to realize that they really were all gone home, leaving me behind. And just like that, i started running.
Looking back like that, i realize now, i was a gutsy little child. I remember the look of the wide dirt road in front of me and I knew that it took us an awfully long time to get there but i wasnt worried about the distance. It was beyond my capacity to understand that i had no hope of getting home that way. All i knew, is that i wanted to go home and running was the fastest (the only) way to get there. My only worry was not getting home before dark. The idea of being out there at night, on the road with all the trees and the forest and all the scary things in them- away from home, away from anyone i knew- that really scared me. I remember crying, but i ran on while i cried.
scared as i was, it must have been more terrifying for my parents. my mom would have been in tears, but my dad? i dont remember my father of being scared of anything, ever. that was the kind of man he was, his face showed only either happiness and laughter or anger and disapproval. but at that time, he must have been scared- what parent wouldnt be? i think it was my uncle who said my dad drove that jeep back to the beach so fast it almost flew.
it must have been terrible for my dad. i cant imagine how heavy it must have felt when he didnt find me, driving home and thinking of ways how to tell my mom. it was night when he got home. he must have been surprised and overjoyed to find me there. i actually arrived home not long after he left.
i don’t remember how far i ran, probably not much. a family going home from the beach stopped by to pick me up. the sight of a very small boy running on the middle of a road would have been hard to miss. They asked who i was, where i lived, etc.. and i answered them straight forwardly. and i knew how to give directions."just drive straight to downtown, ill tell you when to turn right!" (the Petron gas station on the corner of our street is easy to find, it’s the only gas station on the side of the road) they would remark to my mom how quick i was in answering all their questions and how i seemed comfortable in the company of strangers. i was a talkative child even back then. almost 30 years later, i haven’t changed much. i still talk much, and i still talk to strangers. =)
looking back, i cant help but think...it could have easily gone bad for me. i guess i was just very lucky.
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